This week blog post is not something that will take you to a happy place.
So this is an early warning as you will decide wether you would read this further or just simply close the tab.
I should warn you, don’t make mistake because we will soon to discuss some sensitive matters. Just a precaution, by reading this you may be triggered to get sad, anxiety, etc.
Really sorry, but I have to let this one out anyway.
Well the story should continue and here it goes,
Mistakes, by 22 years experiences of living I noticed that our life revolves around mistakes. It seems like where ever we run it chase. It stick tight to our skin like slugs.
By the time I write this, I myself are actually in the middle of creating a HUGE mistake. Not, by writing this post, but another stuff that is just too painful to talk about.
Everybody have a place to go to, a particular thing that they always do, or even a time that would heal them from pain sculpted from mistakes they made.
This is a way for me to release all of the anxieties. Its just sometimes everything get too much, as not only me but everybody who actually want things to be perfect, and just keep on forgetting that we only human who could make mistakes many times.
Mistakes could be made by a lot of things. Even some of the things that we did not plan or hoped for. Maybe even YOU have experienced this little slip that is just so sneaky, that make a whole lots of things twisted over.
If only, just, If only we could have a little buttons that would rewind the time so we could go back in time and re-do all of the things that would keep us away from any mistakes. I know we all have ever thought about this, even once it counts!
Here, I am not trying to say, “hey! life without mistakes are just too plain” or “hey! mistakes is just God’s way to show us something better”. Those kind of things are just too cliche and everybody have heard such things a lot that I dont even need to say it again.
I am here simply to release my tension, nothing else. This is a happy place for me to run to. A way for me to just calms me down and ease me in into life.
Life overwhelms me sometimes, many many things that just slide out of my control. I am just a human that would blame other things for my mistakes. Even an impossible things like time, place, or just an ordinary objects that has NOTHING to do with mistakes I made. I am just a human who has been told to not to do such thing. I am just a human who would just want to run away from all of the tension and shame at that point of time.
I could just avoid making this mistakes or could just got out of the situation. But life really push me to play the game and sticks me to the board like a pawn, up until I got kicked out of the game. I DONT EVEN KNOW I AM IN THE GAME!
I still don’t know how could I got out of this. by place, time, or things. I could just delay all of the tension by writing unstructured stuff like this.
I dont know wether any other people ever feel like i feel right now, Being dumbed out like this. It is just too crazy to think that I always say “we have to face those fear” bla bla bla BUT NOW I CANT even say a word to make me at least a little bit motivated.
Do all human feel this? or its just me?